mum: did you get home safe?
me: no i died a few times
Police officer: Miss Lohan you're over the legal drinking limit.
Lindsay Lohan: THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!
ec5ta5y: bananakimchi: my eyes teared up while watching this.. wtf is wrong with me -_____- same
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
myspacefamosity: taking off your bra before your shirt is much more fun than taking off your shirt then your bra
ghost hunters: can you communicate with us
ghost hunters: oh so your name is william
futurehanneman: a round of applause for making it through the school year without killing myself another round of applause because i managed not to kill anyone else too.
teacher: if you have 10 candies and someone asks for 3, how many do you have left?
on a math test: 2+2
me: use calculator just in case
peruvian-diego: EVERYONE WATCH THIS